Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
