i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
