It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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