Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
