She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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