I showed him my bush... on skype.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
