i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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