margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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