We're facebook friends in real life
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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