Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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