OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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