he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
