Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
