Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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