this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
