Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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