Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
