yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
