If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize