Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Your cock deserves a montage
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
