is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
