he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
