Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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