I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
PANTIES FOUND
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