please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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