we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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