ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
