You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my phone needs a breathalizer
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
