And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
