I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
