he shaved USA in his pubs
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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