can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
