Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize