So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
