I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize