hotel room ftw
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
