My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize