Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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