so explain again why im purple
no
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
