North Korea, Best Korea!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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