omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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