TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
