Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
