No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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