Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize