We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
