I heard we made out
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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