apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
