So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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