I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
