They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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