I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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