she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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