There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
