found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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