Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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