i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
