you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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