Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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