True but thats because hes a fetus.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
well, you know. whores of a feather.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
