I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
