I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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