Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
