Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
