Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
