He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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