would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
